A big feeling and no context.
A student is crying, or has gone silent and won’t look up, or has walked out. You have no idea whether this is a Tuesday thing or something serious, and the rest of the class is watching.
Take the audience away first. Give them somewhere to be that isn’t the front of the room — a seat by the door, the hallway just outside where you can still see them. Don’t ask what’s wrong in front of thirty people. Then get the class back on task, because a room with nothing to do makes this worse.
Why this happens
Something set this off and it probably wasn’t you. It might be the period before, something at lunch, something at home, or something you’d never guess. A teacher who’s known them since September can usually tell within seconds which kind it is. You can’t — and the guess is where substitutes go wrong in both directions, treating a serious thing as small or turning a small thing into an event. When you can’t tell, the move is the same either way: take the pressure off, and tell someone who does know.
Where the line is
- Yours: keeping them safe, not making it worse, getting the room back to work, and telling the office.
- Not yours: finding out why. You aren’t going to get the story in four minutes, and trying can make things harder for them later.
- The office’s: a student who leaves the building, anything about their history, and anyone who needs a counselor.
What to do
- Move the audience or move the student. A quiet corner, a seat by the door, the hallway where you can still see them.
- Offer, don’t ask. “You can sit here as long as you need” rather than “what’s wrong.”
- Give the rest of the class something to do immediately. Most of the pressure on this student is the room watching.
- Tell the office, even if it resolves on its own. Someone there may already know something you don’t.
- Write down what happened, not what you think caused it.
Say this
K–2
“You can sit with me for a minute.” At this age proximity does most of the work and it usually passes on its own. Don’t press for a reason. A six-year-old crying about a pencil may not be crying about the pencil, and neither of you will get to it in five minutes.
3–8
“You don’t have to tell me anything. Take the time you need.” Then leave them alone and mean it. This age is acutely aware of being watched, and privacy helps more than sympathy does.
9–12
“Do you want to step out for a minute, or stay?” The choice is the move. It’s the only control they have right now, and older students will usually take the smaller option if you offer both.
If that doesn’t work
If they leave the room, call the office rather than following. And if what they tell you sounds serious, stop there and take it to an administrator or counselor before you leave the building, the same day. That part isn’t yours to investigate.
In the note
One of your students had a rough patch in third period. I gave them some space and let the office know. Seemed alright by the end, but you’d read it better than I would.
From When it’s not yours to solve in The Sub’s Handbook.
Written by a substitute teacher, for substitute teachers. This is what’s worked in real classrooms — not official guidance, and not a substitute for your school’s policies or your district’s training. When something feels beyond you, it probably is: call the office. They’d rather hear from you early than late.
Open subin, the app the handbook comes from. Free to use.
Dan McSpirit is an active guest teacher and the author of The Sub’s Handbook. He built subin for the job he was doing at the time. More of his work is at danmcspirit.com.